Tips for Sisters Preparing for Missions

Being a sister preparing to head out into the world for 18 months to preach the gospel of the Lord can be somewhat of an intimidating thing; during the last few weeks of my own pre-mission preparations the inside of my skull was heavily populated with a wide variety of questions and concerns. I can't tell you how many times I googled and pinterest-searched "sister missionary tips" between the time I received my call and the time I actually got set apart as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints-- but I know it was excessive. 

That being said, after gaining my own MTC experience, I feel a genuine desire to help out those who are currently preparing to enter the beloved MTC. I don't care how long you will be staying there, the MTC is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that should be enjoyed, not endured. 

First of all, coming from a girl who has spent her entire life deemed as a "night owl," getting used to the missionary schedule is definitely a tough thing! You'll be far better off if you start working on getting on a missionary sleeping-schedule prior to entering the MTC. I can't tell you how many nights I laid awake staring at the darkened underside of a bunk bed. It's like a form of torture! You're exhausted and you know you've got to wake up in just a couple of hours-- but old habits die hard!

As for missionary clothing-- I didn't know the first thing about what to look for or what to get. BUT, after a few weeks in Korea I learned quite quickly that my choices of missionary clothing were not exactly what I'd hoped they'd be! It's possible to be cute AND comfortable. If you have a shirt or skirt that you're not sure about when you're packing for your mission, then don't pack it! If you hesitate even for a second then you'll likely never actually wear it when you get out there.

Buy one of the metal clip things from the MTC bookstore for your name tag. Actually buy two. I used those every single day. I didn't like the pin name tags because it would put holes in all my clothes, so I'd just pin those name tags on the little clippy-gadget and life was a million times easier. 

Also- if you're planning on staying at the MTC for an extended amount of time, go to the MTC bookstore and ask them for the "ID card clippy thingy." I don't actually know the term for it... but they'll know exactly what you're talking about.

People always worry about what towel to bring... but I found the world's most perfect mission towel! It takes up very little space, isn't very heavy, and works like a charm. You can find it HERE.

Bring a soft, comfortable blanket from home. Just pack it in one of those vacuum-zip bags so it doesn't take up too much room. 

Have a little book with you where you can record addresses of friends, family, etc. And collect addresses (both house addresses and email addresses!) before you leave because you'll find yourself every now and then wanting to write a letter to an old friend and you have zero way of contacting them. 

Bring a photo album. You never realize how much pictures will mean to you until it's all you've got to remember your family! Plus, they turn out to be super valuable teaching-tools in street contacting. The people you teach will love to see your family photos. 

If you're going abroad, bring all your favorite medicines. (i.e. ibuprofen, sleeping medicine, cold medicine, etc.) People in different countries use different kinds of meds... but also medicine just seems to be so over-priced when you're a poor missionary! (But I'm including tampons in the medicine category because Asia sure didn't believe in them... )

Make sure you take the time to get your patriarchal blessing shrunk and laminated at the printing center at the MTC. It fits perfectly into a journal, scriptures, etc. And it's SO good to have with you on days where you're feeling a little overwhelmed. 

Bring NOT only a normal, every-day journal, but also a study journal. You'll want somewhere to record all the things you're learning and spiritual moments you'll have. And definitely take that journal with you to the devotionals and firesides. 

Another fun thing to do is take yet another journal (we called them memory books) that functions kind of like a yearbook. You give it to people you love and they fill it with words, pictures, and memories (duh). It's one of my favorite things I have from my mission. 

Bring either a hard drive or several little flash drives with you to put all your photos on (to back it all up just in case something happens to your camera or memory card) and to store all the fun photos you get from other missionaries as well. It's suuuuper nice to have, just saying. 

FOUR-wheeled suitcases. One of my suitcases only had two wheels and every time I had to move I wanted to kill myself. Life is so much easier when you purchase four-wheeled suitcases. I promise! 

Bring a little photo frame along with a bunch of mini pictures of quotes that you can find and print off from Pinterest. It's a brilliant desk decoration that is super easy to mix up often.

Create an 18 month calendar that is covered in pictures of the people you love and your favorite memories. It's the most wonderful thing to hang over your desk. Plus, it can kind of become a journal in and of itself. I always wrote a couple fun things on each day to help me remember little details of each day. 

Bring good music! Seriously-- it makes all the difference to have good music playing at nights when you're getting ready for bed, in the mornings when you wake up... or just whenever. 

Make a book/collection of 30min work out plans for the mornings. You've only got half an hour to work out and time in the morning seems to slip away super fast. You don't want to waste any of it sitting around trying to decide what you should do!

Buy a mini PMG. They give you a big one at the MTC, but nobody wants to carry around the giant PMG in their purse when you're going to district meetings or zone conferences. That being said, get a mini Book of Mormon for you to carry in your purse (mostly for foreign language learning sisters) so that you can have something to refer to when you look up a scripture on the street while you're contacting. 

Bring lots of hand sanitizer. I can't tell you how many times that came in handy for me. Also, tide to go pens. They are magic. 

Don't throw away your letters. Take a little box or something with you where you can keep all of your letters organized and safe. 

If you're curious about what mission life is like, get in contact with the sister missionaries in your area. When you're actually a missionary you will see JUST how important it is to have members with you at lessons. Plus, it's a good way to prepare for your own mission. 

Don't pack your suitcases so full that you won't have room for stuff you buy. I promise, it's way less stressful for you when you have room in your suitcases on the way there because you'll definitely need every last bit of space in your suitcases for the plane ride home!

Um. If you're going to a foreign country, bring the kind of bleach that won't turn your garments gray when you try to use it. They change to not-so-white colors pretty fast so it's good to have a way of making them white again!

I personally bought a new set of scriptures for my mission and I LOVED it. I was able to mark them all up in specific ways that helped me study better and prepare better for lessons we had with investigators. 

Sticky notes, stickers, and coloring books are always a good idea for church. And sticky notes are the best just for day-to-day missionary work. They come in handy probably forty times a day. I kept mine on the back page of my planner. 

If you're learning a language, don't be afraid to mess up. I learned the most from just TRYING to speak. Korean is SO hard to learn, but I didn't really start learning until I let go of the fear of messing up in front of other people. Just open your mouth and speak!

Make up fun games and competitions with your companion/ other missionaries when you're out and about proselyting. It's not always an easy task, but we're sharing a message of happiness so it's important to BE HAPPY when other people see you wearing the Savior's name upon your heart. 

I could sit here and spit out hints and tips about missionary work all day long... long story short, you'll be fine. Somehow, as a missionary, everything always seems to work out. I'm not really sure how, (magic? the priesthood?) but it does. So even though it's scary and it's hard, just remember that the Lord provides a way for His children to do the things He asks us to do! So put on your biggest smile, say a little prayer, and get out and get to work. Being a missionary truly is such an honor and it's important to really enjoy all the little things as a missionary because we're only missionaries for a very short period of time.

So make it a happy, growing, wonderful time. 

If you have any questions or concerns don't be afraid to ask below! 

xoxo,

CaLea

Obstacles on the Path.

On July 24th, I fell very ill. I woke up in the middle of the night with rather severe stomach pain and consequentially I spent the remnant of the night vomiting. The next day, we laid low for a bit hoping that maybe I'd just eaten something funny and that it would all kind of heal itself. But alas, it did not. 

We found ourselves in the emergency room that night in order to prevent any potentially serious issues.... we were there practically all night... and yet we went home still unsure what was causing the problem. What was worrying us the most the the pain-- we didn't know what it was or what to do. From that point until now, I found myself at the hospital on thirteen separate occasions in attempts to find the problem and conquer it; but we had no luck. For some reason, despite our numerous attempts and constant battling, we couldn't seem to defeat the sickness. And believe me, we did everything we could possibly think of doing in order to try and fix things. 

Needless to say, after a month of struggling through all of this, the decision was finally made to send me home. I was absolutely heartbroken. The only reason things went on for as long as they did in Korea was because I was set on staying on my mission. So the decision to send me home was... painful. I can honestly say that it's been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. 

On Friday, I boarded the plane in Incheon Airport in Korea. I arrived home that same Friday in Utah. For now, I'm still doing all I can to battle this fun little situation. My greatest desire is to return to the Korea Seoul South Mission and finish what I started! But as for now, we're not really sure what will happen. I just wanted to say thank you for all the love, prayers, and support that have been sent my way. 

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do... but I know that the Lord has a purpose for everything. He knows all things. Maybe I don't have all of the answers right now, but I know that the Lord loves me and I know that He has a very specific plan for me. So I know it's going to be okay.

xoxo,

Sister CaLea Bagley

Lessons to be Learned.

Well, I can honestly say that the past four weeks have been nothing short of absolutely... interesting. I've seen every corner of the Gangnam Severence Hospital... and then some. I've had needles and IV's poked into my veins on multiple occasions and I've had people pushing on my tummy and asking me if it hurts more often than I'd like to admit. And yet, despite all the efforts that have been exerted in attempts to figure out what's wrong with me... we still don't have a definite answer. And I'm still not getting better. 

Needless to say, I've spent a lot of time laying on my back staring at the ceiling for the past month or so. In all that time, I couldn't help but to wonder what lessons I've learned from this experience. And after a lot of thought, the number one thing that's been coming up in my mind is this: 

People always tend to say that there is adversity in all that is good. But I think what I've come to realize that there is GOOD in all adversity. Yeah, sure, hard things are bound to happen; that's been something we've known since the beginning. We knew we'd come to earth and face trials. Yet so often we find ourselves in the midst of adversity and all we can manage to say is, "Why me??" 

But after all that's happened, the things I will remember most about this experience are the people who did all they could to help, the friendships that have blossomed, the ways in which my faith has been tested, the numerous hysterical hospital stories I can now share whenever people need a chuckle, how much I really love and appreciate this opportunity to be a missionary, and the fact that the Savior suffered for every last little pain and hardship that I've ever had to endure. He knows what I am feeling. Even though nobody else around me understands the full extent of what I'm experiencing... He does. And in the end, what else matters? I'm surrounded by people who love me (both literally and metaphorically) and I know that there's a purpose for all that I will experience in my life. 

I'm still ill but I'm still smiling. I pinky promise. 

I know I'll be fully recovered in no time. It's just a matter of 

the Lord's timing... not my own.

Thank you for all your love and support. 

I can literally feel it lifting me up when my spirits feel low. 

Let's conquer it this week.

xoxo,

Sister Bagley

Pictures!

A group of school kids we befriended on the subway

 Last couple of days with Sister Giles!

Goodbyes at Gangnam ward! :( :(

Large and spacious building? I'm fascinated by it!

Sister Giles and I on our last day!

Transfer day... so sad to say goodbyes!

My boys!! Some of the Elders I came to country with.

Awesome graffiti tunnel by the river

 That one time we ate dog for dinner...ummm.

Last Week of the Transfer!

Answers for Mamma Bagley's list of Questions:

·         Tell me about those you are teaching.

So, we're teaching a bunch of people, actually. But first and foremost comes Ah-een. She's 45 years old and single and she's the one who we set the baptism date with a while ago. So.... we actually ended up post-poning the date on Saturday because she's just feeling a lot of pressure. She reads the Book of Mormon every single day. I know she'll end up getting baptized eventually... but probably not until she finishes the whole thing. That was hard for us because we've been making so many promises to her but we realized we were probably pushing her in ways that weren't best for her. So we're trying a new approach. Wish us luck and pray for her to be able to recognize her answer when it comes.

Another woman we're teaching we just set a baptism date with this week. She's really cool... but she's not super diligent about keeping her commitments because "the TV drama was too interesting!!" and other such various excuses... but she loves the scriptures! We can't seem to figure out how to get her to read on her own, though. We're meeting with her really frequently and she's excited to learn more about the gospel. We'll keep our fingers crossed.

We have an 85 year old man who lives down the street from us who has one of the coolest life-stories I have ever heard. He's a successfully retired businessman who came from a childhood of very little. He now speaks 3 languages (English, Japanese, and Korean) and spends a huge chunk of his time doing volunteer service that requires his language skills. We call him Nam and he's our BFF. Nam has met with a few sets of Elders over the course of the last 15 years of his life and so diligently studied all that they asked him to study... but eventually they stopped meeting. He got baptized into the Roman Catholic Church in December and that was that.

But, ever since I've been in Gangnam we've been working really hard at just being his friends. We'd talk with him, never fail to say "hello" when we'd see him, and even deliver cookies to his home for him and his wife to enjoy. Recently we've started joining him on Fridays in the service he does at the subway station. We LOVE Nam!! We never tried to directly talk about the gospel with him unless he'd ask us specific questions or bring it up himself. Anyways, on Tuesday we woke up to a text from Nam that asked us when we'd be able to study the gospel together! We're now meeting and teaching Nam!!! We love him so much. And I am so honored that he trusts us enough to answer his questions. He's my best friend. (I have a lot of Korea best friends... and they range in ages from 2-85 years old.)

·         Help me to know what the life of a missionary is like.

It's tough! But also so amazing. You don't live a single day without receiving the help of the Lord to help you make it through. You're always tired and you always want to take a nap... but you never do. You just keep smiling and pushing through and then you see miracles. Every single day. We do everything that we do for other people and it's seriously the greatest thing I've ever gotten to do. I've never felt more.... me. Not in my entire life. I don't think there are any words that could accurately depict what it's like to be a missionary.

·         How do the people receive you in Korea?

A lot of people just love us because we're Americans. And then they extra-love us because we are Americans who speak Korean. Every now and then there are people who call us a cult and what not... but for the most part, people are really nice! :) I love Koreans!

·         What did you do this week that made you know of His love?

Yesterday we were at this big park and we were just walking around looking for people to talk to and we found this whole clan of elderly women sitting on these benches just fanning themselves from the heat. We walked up and said hello and they loved us immediately! Especially because we were these two young little "babies" who were speaking to them in Korean. Anyways, they all just told us to sit down and enjoy the evening with them for a minute. So we sat down next to this precious OLD woman and just talked to her for about twenty minutes and I can't even explain how much love I felt for her in such a short amount of time. That happens to me a lot, to tell the truth. I feel immense amounts of love for the people I get to meet and talk with and spend time with and I know that the love I'm feeling is just a glimpse of the love that our Heavenly Father has for them. And being able to feel that for other people has really helped me to feel His love more deeply.

·         Do you ever get discouraged?  How do you fix yourself?

Always. But I have this kind of a mindset: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. If there's one thing I've learned on my mission, it's that God makes weak things strong. So maybe being weak isn't always the worst thing.... it's actually a big blessing.

·         When is the next transfer date and do you think you will be transferred?

This is the final week of the transfer. We'll find out this Saturday about what will happen with the upcoming transfer. I think I'll probably be staying here in Gangnam. I dunno for sure though... It's more likely that Sister Giles will be transferred out that me. But we'll just find out when it happens! The Lord is full of surprises! You'll hear from me again next week! :)

·         How many people are you teaching?

Right now we have about 15-20 people on our "list" of people to focus on every week. But it's tough to answer that questions accurately because sometimes plans and appointments fall through. But we've got a lot of people we've been consistently meeting with and working with. 

It's so cool to be a missionary. Basically the biggest thing I heard God telling me this week was, "For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith." (2 Nephi 27:23)

I've mentioned a few of the miracles I saw this week, but I can't even begin to explain how amazing this week has been when it comes to miracles. Each day I wake up excited to see what kind of miracles the Lord will show forth that day. It's been a constant, non-stop flow of miracles in Gangnam for the past couple of weeks. I wanted to share one really cool, really specific one before I say goodbye for the week...

We live across the street from this little elementary school. So, twice a day there is a "crew" of elderly people who volunteer to be crosswalk guards while the children are both coming to school and leaving school. They always just hang out outside our little apartment building. There is this awesome tiny grandma who always eats our food and this man who wears the same hat that says "Texas" on it every single day. That's why we call him "Texas." Anyways, Texas hadn't been outside with the crosswalk-crew for about a week and we were beginning to wonder where he was. But on Thursday, as soon as we left our apartment, we ran into the crosswalk-crew and there he was, sitting in his usual chair amongst all of our friends. (They make us come talk to them every time we walk by.) We asked him why he'd been gone for so long... and when he began to speak we noticed that his face was pretty swollen and beat up. The entire left-side of his face was immobile. He informed us that he'd been at the hospital all week and then asked us if we'd pray for him. And when we said we would, he removed his cap and motioned to his head as if we were going to give him a blessing. At that point we had to explain that we weren't able to bless him like that but that the Elders could and we'd come back later that day with them so they could give him a blessing. But as we started to walk away we called the Elders, just to see where they were at... and miraculously, their appointment had cancelled on them and they were literally walking past our house at that exact moment. So we ran back to the cross-walk crew just in time to see the Elders coming around the corner. They were able to give him a blessing, right then and there, on the side of the street, right when he needed them to. Everyone that witnessed it was absolutely amazed and we were able to teach all of them about the Priesthood and the blessing that it is in our lives today. It was one of the coolest moments of my entire mission.

The Lord is with us in this work!

I hope you're seeing miracles, wherever you may be!

I love you and I love being a missionary!

xoxo,

Sister CaLea Bagley

Goodbye June, Hello Miracles!

This week has been absolutely amazing. (I feel like I start out every email like this... but I promise that I mean it from the very bottom of my heart. Maybe missionary work is the best thing that has ever happened to me?) 

We've been having a hard time with investigators lately just because everyone in Gangnam is so busy all the time. It's hard to consistently keep meeting with people. So, we've just been slowly having to drop investigators because it eventually becomes too difficult to meet with them or they're not willing to progress anymore. It's been so hard! We have a couple of really fantastic investigators who are so solid, but we've been really feeling as if we need to work to pick up some new investigators as well. So Sister Giles and I just decided to kick it into gear and start working even harder in every aspect of missionary work. And guess what happened: miracles.

We picked up four new investigators this week! All of whom are gospel interest and who have so much potential. One is a woman that I met when I was on exchange in a different area. I said hello to her and we gave her the number of the Sisters who were serving in that area because we ended up having to get off pretty quickly. People don't usually call us off the pass-along cards we give out... but she did! She ended up calling the Sisters... and, long story short, she lives in Gangnam! So they called us and were so excited to refer her to us. We met with her and she loved us. We sang a bunch of primary songs together and we taught her all about the Book of Mormon. It was really neat. She now refers to herself as our Korean mother... (Yes, now I have two... but just wait.)

We met a woman on the street a few weeks ago who tried to feed us dinner right then and there.. but we were running a little late so we just got her phone number and then headed to our next appointment. BUT, the other day we felt very prompted to call her. She didn't answer..... but she called us the next morning at 6:00am and invited us over for dinner. Long story short: she introduced us to her sweet husband and fed us dinner. We got to teach them about the Book of Mormon as well! The man is the sweetest 72 year old man I've ever met and his wife is wonderful. She called herself our "mother" as well.. and referred to her husband as our "grandfather" because she thought it was funny. They both LOVED the Book of Mormon and basically told us to come and teach them anytime we have extra time. I've never loved two people so much in such a short amount of time in my entire life. I'm completely in love with them.

The last woman we met after our English class on Saturday. She showed up just as it was ending... and so we told her we could just meet with her personally. We ended talking all about religion and found out that she's a christian who doesn't attend church. She told us that she's been looking for the "right" church for a long time but just hasn't found what she's been looking for. We taught her about the Book of Mormon as well. 

The Book of Mormon is the coolest book in the whole world. Every day I find ways to apply the things I read from it to my own life and the lives of those we are teaching. It's magic. And we got to teach four new investigators all about it this week. It's been such an adventure. 

Speaking of the Book of Mormon, I want to share a couple of my favorite passages that I read this week:

1 Nephi 14:14

And it came to pass that I, Nephi, beheld the power of the Lamb of God, that it descended upon the saints of the church of the Lamb, and upon the covenant people of the Lord, who were scattered upon all the face of the earth; and they were armed with righteousness and with the power of God in great glory.

So. I just think the phrase, "...armed with righteousness and with the power of God in great glory." sounds pretty awesome. It's a fantastic blessing that God gives to us when we choose to live worthy of such a blessing. And I can definitely testify that I've felt that power backing me up as I've been out here in Korea doing missionary work. It's a battle against the adversary... but Satan's got nothing on us because we've got God on our side. Nothing will stand in the way of the work of the Lord. 

1 Nephi 7:17-18

But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea, even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.

 And it came to pass that when I had said these words, behold, the bands were loosed from off my hands and feet, and I stood before my brethren, and I spake unto them again.

This set of scriptures really touched my heart this week because I've been praying for so many things and I've been receiving so many answers... just not the answer I prayed to receive. It was also neat because not only was this an answer to MY prayers, but to one of our investigator's prayers as well. Sometimes we pray for the strength to "burst the bands with which [we] are bound." And God hears our prayers... but sometimes, the answer comes by "the bands [being] loosed from off [our] hands and feet..." We often pray for one thing and our prayers are answered in a very different way. I guess this week I learned to start praying for the ability to recognize the answers when they come. 

3 Nephi 19:24

And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus prayed unto the Father, he came unto his disciples, and behold, they did still continue, without ceasing, to pray unto him; and they did not multiply many words, for it was given unto them what they should pray, and they were filled with desire.

And then... there's this scripture. I really like that it just talks about how they didn't "multiply" their words; they said what they needed to say and they were directed by the spirit to pray for the things that they needed to pray for in order to find success. I also just liked the idea that prayer is a way of aligning our desires and will with the desire and will of our Heavenly Father. My favorite part is the line, "...and they were filled with desire." They were able to conquer their own desires in order to be filled with a desire to do and be what the Lord wanted them to do and become. And if you ask me, God always has a better plan than I do. I learn that every single day on my mission. My days never go the way we plan them to go-- I write in my planner more in whiteout than I do in pen. But that being said, my days always seem to go better than planned. It's been such a blessing. 

We had interviews with President Morrise this past week. Fun fact: President conducted the interviews at our homes. It was so much fun! We were beyond nervous (and I think that was just our womanly instinct coming out because we knew people were coming to our house so we cleaned like crazy!) but it ended up being my favorite interview so far since I've been out on the mission. We bought them ice cream and they ended up showing up with ice cream. So we all ate ice cream around a fold-out table and I had to use my bed (aka my floor mat) as a chair. It was awesome. 

 President told us how proud he was of us this week. We could definitely feel the truth in his words through the smile on his face and in his eyes. 

I'm proud of us too, actually. We're doing good work and having the time of our lives doing it. I can't seem to wipe the smile off my face. I love everyone and everything-- it's a side-effect of missionary work, I think.

I'm doing really, really, really well. 

I like doing this stuff, it's fun.

xoxo,

Sister CaLea Bagley

p.s. This week one of our investigators gave Sister Giles and I matching rain boots. Hers are pink and mine are red. I've always secretly wanted red rain boots. That was another miracle. Miracles are happening everywhere. 

It's Monsoon Season

It's been raining SO hard for the past three days. And everyone keeps telling us that it's not going to stop raining until the end of July. So... we'll be soaking wet missionaries until the end of the transfer! (Good thing I bought rainboots!!) Seriously though, the roads have become rivers and we've been making friends like crazy just because we're forced to hide in little places where the storm can't reach us. It's been such an adventure. I love thunder storms. And it's been a non-ending thunderstorm for the past couple of days. 

Korea is soooo into the World Cup. It's been so much fun to be surrounded by so many people who love soccer as much as I do! In Korea the idea of a soccer-playing-female is completely abnormal so I get a lot of weird stares when I tell people that I played soccer in America. It's a lot of fun. But it was way funny because when Korea played in the world cup, we knew exactly when Korea scored because the entire country of Korea ended up cheering in synchronization. We were in the middle of personal study and all of a sudden it sounded like world war III outside of our apartment. Literally, in every direction we could hear people screaming and in hysterics. It wasn't until the Elders texted us three minutes later that we realized it was because Korea had just scored a goal. It's been pretty fun! People over here are crazy about soccer. 

Um. I decided to attatch a picture of the cute little apartment building we live in. It looks like it's a barbie doll house-- it's pink and blue and adorable. We live across the street from an elementary school and so we can always hear children. Always. It's pretty fun. My favorite is when the little baseball team is out practicing-- it reminds me of Dad and the boys! 

I'm happy and doing well and I am so grateful for the love and support that I feel from all of you every single day. It really does help me get through some of the tough moments in my days. I really am doing so well. Sister Giles and I laugh about everything and anything these days.. half the time we don't even know why we're laughing. But it's fun and we're not complaining that we're happy. 

Tell me about some miracles you saw this week!

I love you all and I hope you don't go a single day not knowing that.

xoxo,

Sister CaLea Bagley 

Willing to Commit.

Okay, first things first: I did not intentionally place the fact that I got hit by a minivan and that I had to go to the hospital this week right next to each other. Both events were entirely unrelated and I realized that the situation must have sounded must more dramatic than was intended... my sincerest apologies. I had to go to the doctor for a minor problem... and yes, I did get hit by a minivan. But it was not moving very fast at all and I did not get injured from that occurrence. Again, sowwy. My bad?

In other news... I'm starting this week off with something I wrote in my little blue book full of words: "Things feel a little unaligned; as if the pieces of my soul don't all fit together just like they should. And they just grind and grind, trying to make room, trying to find a place. It's not entirely unbearable... but then again, it's not all together desirable either. I'm under construction... and all I have control over, for the time being, is whether or not I'll decide to smile. But as far as I know, there's no real use in frowning."

I think one of the toughest things about being a missionary is feeling like all your problems and weaknesses are on display for the whole world to see. I mean, obviously everyone has their own problems and weaknesses-- it's part of being human-- but I've never before felt so vulnerable to my own imperfections. And yet-- I've never before been so happy. It's the strangest thing.

I was reading the book "Daughters in My Kingdom" and I was so touched by all the incredible accounts of strong, faithful, loving, courageous women who helped build up the church in these latter-days. Each story told of incredible women who gave up so much in order to build up God's kingdom on the earth; I want to be just like them. But sometimes it's so easy to feel selfish and mediocre in your own weaknesses. I read the accounts of these women and all I could keep thinking to myself is, "How can I be more like them?" The Lord expects so much of me and sometimes I feel as if I'm not living up to my full potential.

I spent a lot of time on my knees this week looking for answers on how I can be and do better. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that our weaknesses cannot define who we are unless we allow them to. We can conquer any weakness or trial that is placed in our path of life as long as we look to the Lord and rely on Him for strength. Sometimes it's scary to stand at a stopping point and not know in which direction you should walk to get to where you want to be. I've been stuck in the same little spot for a long time just waiting to receive a push in the right direction...

But I learned that sometimes the trick is just trusting enough to make that first step, in faith, on your own. 

I was studying commitments in Preach My Gospel this week in preparation for some of the lessons we had scheduled. We've been meeting with a few really awesome people who have so much potential but who have been limited in their improvement because we've been timid on giving them good, specific commitments. (Everyone is so busy that we sometimes feel like it's necessary to re-build our relationship every time we meet because there's so much time between each individual appointment.) But I am reminded again and again that the only way to help people come closer to the Savior is by actively inviting them to do so. And promising specific blessings is a way of helping them exercise their faith as they actively seek to follow these commitments. 

As I spent some time prayerfully preparing commitments (and seeking out which blessings to promise) for these people, I was struck by a powerful impression: "You've been looking for answers on how you can improve. Why are you waiting? I know what you are capable of doing and you know that you can do anything as long as you rely upon me. What blessings do you desire and what are you willing to do in order to receive them?"

I was waiting for an answer and the answer I received was that the Lord was trusting me to come up with my own solution. He wanted me to prayerfully come up with specific commitments and goals for myself so that He can bless me in the ways I need to be blessed. And so, that's exactly what I did. 

And as soon as I made those commitments to the Lord, I immediately started seeing miracles. This week we set a MIRACLE baptism date with one of our investigators. It literally got to the point in which we all got down in the middle of our lesson to pray to see if the date in which we were trying to set with her would please the Lord. She offered the prayer and when it ended, we were all in tears.

These people are on their journey back home to our Heavenly Father-- we're just here along for the ride and showing them where they can find their answers. It's such an incredible opportunity.

I love you all!
Hope you know that.

xoxo,

Sister CaLea Bagley