So maybe this week has been a little tougher than others, but there's nothing to worry about, I promise. I was just experiencing a lot of different emotions (frustration, inadequacy, frustration by the fact that I was even frustrated... etc.) and I wasn't sure how to go about conquering them. None of the feelings were really overwhelming or overbearing-- just uncomfortable. But uncomfortable enough to keep me worrying about it. I wanted to get rid of those feelings but I didn't know how. So in the middle of personal study one lovely morning, two words popped into my head: "growing pains." I couldn't help but to laugh at myself for comparing circumstances to puberty-- "spiritual puberty." It's necessary for us to grow and mature-- but in order to do that, we've got to learn how to overcome the things that may be keeping us from progressing. (In my case, the big problem this week was pride. It's the worst.) And so I was frustrated at myself for being frustrated about silly things... which lead to me also feeling inadequate. And so it was just a cycle of feelings that were there to alert me that it was time to change. If we go through our lives feeling 100% comfortable 100% of the time then we must not be doing much at all.
So yes, I was a wee bit frustrated this week, but I realized that I am a human being which means I can fall victim to normal human-being feelings. (sarcasm) And when we run into our own imperfections it's important to recognize them as weaknesses and then work to overcome them. So- if you find yourself feeling the pains of spiritual puberty, just remember that we've all got things to learn and God has very specific ways of teaching us. I'm grateful that He takes the time to teach each of us in a very personal way and that He hold our hands every step of the way. Sure, we may stumble, but as long as we're clinging to His hand, we'll never ever fall.
I really like the scripture Mark 9:23: "Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." I guess too often I forget that I'm only limited by my faith. Time and time again, God promises that we can work great miracles as long as we simply believe. (Another example is Mormon 9:21... and another Mormon 9:25). And I guess that all it really comes down to is how much we trust the Lord. When we truly have faith in Him, undoubting, unshakable faith, then we will be capable of being and doing far more than we could have ever imagined. "And he knoweth their prayers, that they were in behalf of their bretheren. And he knoweth their faith, for in his name could they remove mountains; and in his name could they cause the earth to shake; and by the power of his word did they cause prisons to tumble to the earth; yea, even the fiery furnace could not harm them, neither beasts nor poisonous serpents, because of the power of his word." (Mormon 8:24) The only thing that will ever hold us back from being great is our own lack of faith-- it's our only real limitation.
Anyways, we got to go to a baptism yesterday and that was so cool! We get to go back to my last area this next Saturday and see 현지's baptism too! I can't even wait for that! And maybe I miss Sister Sloan like crazy so I'm way excited to see her as well.
We've got a total of fourteen appointments with investigators this next week... (we are only meeting with one person more than once.) I don't even know HOW that happened, but we've been meeting so many people and it's such an incredible blessing. Miracles are happening. Everywhere I go, I see them. No matter how big or how small they may be, miracles are still miracles.
I'm working hard and doing my best!
I love you all and I hope you have a fantastic week!
Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!
I hope that if I grow up I'll be just like you. :) :)
Sister CaLea Bagley
p.s. I got to hike a mountain this week and it made me so happy. I miss nature sometimes.